Welcome
Imagine a group of strangers, intentionally setting aside the rules of polite social interaction, in order to explore themselves more freely. This group is a place to get to know the parts of yourself that are mostly not in your conscious awareness. The auto-responses that live in your body, not in your mind. Do you charm the room in an attempt to feel special? Do you fill with rage when someone misunderstands you? Do you act like everything is perfectly fine no matter what’s really up? Here you can explore your patterned reactions and behaviours with gentle facilitation and a room full of people doing the same thing.
Basics
WINTER-SPRING 2024 Session: January through May.
We are re-opening the current group to new members. Start date is April 17th or 24th and runs to May 29th.
Wednesdays: 7-9:30pm
This is not a drop-in. Commitment is for the whole period.
Location: 151 Sterling Rd.
Cost: $50 per meeting.
APPLICATION FORM IS HERE
Questions: grouptherapytoronto@protonmail.com
Details: Q & A
Q: Is this a support group?
A: No. Support groups are for people with a specific common struggle (addiction, grief, body image) to find solace in each other. This group is interpersonal and experiential. Rather than talking about feelings, you will actually have feelings. We do exercises to get into our bodies (the place where feelings come from). There is no specific goal beyond knowing oneself better.
Q: What does a group meeting look like?
A: Each meeting starts with structured, embodied exercises designed to bring you into deep feeling. For example, you might be asked to stand next to a person around whom you feel insecure or unsafe. From there you would explore specifically what about this person brings up those feelings. Was there any unsafe person in your past with the same posture? Did you learn in fairy tales that moustaches belong to bad people? You might not have access to the “reason”. How do you generally respond to this “unsafe” person? Do you avoid them? Do you flirt with them? The “unsafe” person would get a chance to explore what it feels like to be chosen as such. Is this common for them? Does it hurt their feelings? Are they surprised? Generally, after an exercise or two there is enough happening in the room for the process to naturally unfold.
Q: That sounds intense.
A: Yes, it can be. But it’s also incredibly fun and supportive. Being in connection with people when you’re not pretending to be smarter, cooler, funnier than you are, is one of the most liberating things a person can do.
Q: Is the point for me to change my behaviour?
A: Nope. You can do whatever you wish with the awareness you gain. We have no agenda to make you less anxious, more open, less competitive. That said, the group is a great place to try on new ways of being and see what happens. If you tend to hold back your real thoughts you could try blurting things out without any filter and see what happens. If you tend to wait for people to come to you, you could try initiating.
Q: Why is it valuable to know ourselves in this way?
A: First, because for most of us, there are disconnects between our internal reality and how we’re perceived. We’d like more friends, for example, and feel to ourselves like we are friendly and open, yet, for some reason, we’re not having luck. The group can help us see that something we’re doing is giving a different impression. Could be that we roll our eyes when we’re nervous or "seem standoffish." There is all kinds of information in the way someone stands, or talks or moves that can be working against one's hopes and desires.
Second, these patterns of behaviour limit our options. They can be so ingrained that they feel like "who we are." People will say, I'm just a grumpy person. But often, there's deep feeling underneath the pattern of behaviour. If I didn't get irritated or judgmental when you are being free or sexy or loud, I would feel my own longing to take up space in that way, and that is much harder and scarier for me to feel than irritation, for example.
Q: Is there talking?
A: Some talking. But the emphasis is on moving and feeling what comes up in our embodied self. When there is talking, we try to focus on what's currently happening in the room (“I am trying to get Ajay to notice me and nothing seems to work”) rather than things that have already happened (“My partner was too busy for me again this week”). Working with feelings as they are happening, allows the unconscious parts of our experience to come into our awareness in real-time. Our operating principle is that any feeling you have in the group is a feeling you experience in your real life. In other words, it’s all directly applicable and useful.
Q: I go to one one-on-one therapy, do I need this?
A: So much of how we feel in life is determined by how we feel in our relationships– with our kids, parents, partners, friends, coworkers, neighbours, and strangers. It can be hard to work directly on relational issues in one one-on-one therapy because the only other person present is the therapist and they are there to support you. A group is an approximation of the real world: group members will remind you of your ex-boyfriend, your narcissistic boss, your beloved grandma. In other words, you will have a lot of present-moment material to work with. Plus, the group members are not in any role, and they’re not getting paid, so any support, love, tenderness you feel from them, you can be sure is real.
Q: Do I need to be in therapy to join?
A: Not necessarily but you do need to have done enough self-reflection to know that anything you feel or experience is through a lens. Getting to know the features of that lens is one way we could describe the purpose of a process group. How has my life experience shaped the way I see the world? What does the world look like to me? We don’t all see the same world.
Q: Will I have to do things I don’t want to?
A: No. Nothing is mandatory. You can opt out of anything. We usually ask that you stay in the room for the whole meeting but you don’t have to actively engage or share.
Q: Will I have to tell people my life story?
A: Not if you don’t want to. The focus of meetings is on how you feel in the present moment. These feelings will almost certainly be familiar to you and you are welcome to tell the group about where else in your life you feel them– say, if someone reminds you of your Dad, for example. But there are no rules or obligations and if you don’t want to disclose personal details you don’t have to. You are also welcome to use an alias.
Q: Who are you?
A: I am Mary Albino, MA, CCEP. I spend most of my time working with people one-on-one, but I've been trained in group process at the Institute for Core Energetics in New York, the Netherlands Institute for Core Energetics, The Radical Aliveness Institute in Los, Angeles and the Center for Group Studies in New York. I create an atmosphere that is open, protected and kind of magical. It’s not clinical or judgmental.
Q: Who will be in the group?
A: Our goal is to create a group that varies widely in age, personality, life experience, life circumstance. We also try our best to ensure that no one knows each other personally– no partners, friends or colleagues; it’s far easier to take risks when there is no chance of seeing someone at a New Year’s Eve Party as your polite, social self. When the group is over, you are free to be friends, colleagues, or lovers.
Q: Will I like everyone?
A: Let’s hope not. Working through feelings of judgment, dislike, and rejection is some of the most important work you can do. We hope you have all kinds of feelings – “positive” and “negative” – towards group members.
Q: Do I have to be depressed or struggling?
A: No. The group is for anyone who wants to know themselves better. You can be struggling. You can be depressed. But you can just be curious about yourself.
Q: Can anyone not join?
A: There are some instances when a group like this is not ideal such as: immediately after a major crisis, if you’re in acute mental distress, if you’re at the very beginning of the self-exploration process, if your nervous system is sensitive to loud noises. We have a substantial phone conversation with anyone interested and together we’ll determine if this group, at this moment is the right fit.
Q. What if I’m shy?
A: Great.
Q: What if I’m scared?
A: Getting to know oneself may be the most terrifying thing a person can do. Feeling scared of this group is a reasonable thing to feel.
Q: Can I miss meetings?
A: Yes, but it’s much better if you don’t. A lot happens from week to week and it can be hard on the group if people miss big moments. You can miss two sessions without paying
Q: I can’t make it this session.
A: Send us an email and we'll let you know about the next session, which will be in the fall.
Q: I have questions
A: Please reach out: grouptherapytoronto@protonmail.com.